I grew up in poverty with naught but my grandfather to raise me, on his farm in...oh wait, that's not me, that's Heidi.


Who am I again?


Oh, right.


Crystal is...


a makeup major attending Long Beach City College usually full time but not always...majoring in theater makeup and studying sign language on the side. On the weekends I am BATGIRL! But nobody calls me that...and I don't do anything to represent a bat, either vampire or baseball. Though actually I work security for Midnight Insanity. It's damn good work and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Especially if they would let us use electric cattle prods to keep the audience in line, but then again, that might negate the whole process of trying to punish our audience members since most of them would like being shocked/scratched/bitten/flogged/beaten/anally raped with an pickaxe a little too much. So I suppose there really is no hope for us using weapons.


A proud Irish woman who doesn't drink, she is the opposite of everything her heritage stands for (especially since she's also Scottish). Then again, she's also German yet completely disorganized. And French, but she owns a deoderant stick. A complete enigma. How complex she be.


She tries her damned hardest to be gramatically correct and won't respond to a simple "Hi" or "Wats up,"...you should try to find SOMETHING to say that implies you at least glanced over her bio (seriously people, it's not as long as some of the others out there and this one at least has some substance).


On a final note, my attempt at humor in this particular situation has taught us all one thing: we don't laugh with Crystal. We laugh at her.


Especially when she refers to herself in the third person.