[I AM A PROUD WHITE MAN..IF THIS OFFENDS YOU....TOO FUCKIN BAD.]
[92% of the teenage population has moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% that stayed with rock, put this in your profile]

I AM IN bloody beautiful. TAKE THE TEST ARE YOU WORTHY?

  -Your shady hat $30
  your ecko jeans $65
  your g-unit shirt $43
  sweatshirt 75$
  your rocawear socks 21$
  your nexi $100
  your bling bling $250
  your gucci du-rag $25
  Realizing that you're white..
  Priceless!-





Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch.



Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.



Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.



Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.



Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.



Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)



Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.



Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.



Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.



Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.



Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.



Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.