Ha funny huh?



 Freak who loves anime!! that pretty much describes me. If you are going to be mad at me then go ahead but don't be harassing me got it? I am alot like my friend CatDemon I get angery easily. O.K.? No backstabbers aloud!!! Hey for all the Full Metal Alchemist fans out there. Here you go I thought it was hilarious!!!

The Fight of Roy and Envy!!
Roy was poised ready to snap his fingers and send flames to engulf his opponent, the ever shifting homunculus Envy, who was preparing for a dodge, followed by jump kicking the over confident colonel. Ed, who was just observing, rolled his eyes at the scene. They'd been fighting pointlessly for the last hour...both sending insults back and forth like preschoolers with knowledge of colorful words.

"Would you both cut it out?" Ed finally interupted.

"NO! I'M NOT DONE YET! I WILL BEAT HER!" Roy hollered back.

"You're going to lose! So just give up." Envy smirked.
"Oh really?"

"Yes...really."

"How's that?"

"Because I haven't used my secret weapon yet." Envy's grin spread wider.

"And what would that be?" Roy inquired.

"I'm a guy, not a chick."

Roy passed out from shock. Envy jumped up and down happily, having won. And Ed...well...Ed decided he was disowning Roy as his colonel and Envy as his enemy.


Morning Schedule of Colonel Roy Mustang

6:00 a.m.: Roll over as alarm goes off.

6:09 a.m.: Smash snooze button on alarm clock.

6:18 a.m.: Throw alarm clock across room.

6:27 a.m.: Get out of bed to retrieve alarm clock, while hitting the snooze button again.

6:36 a.m.: Get out of bed, put on ignition gloves, torch alarm clock, and go back to sleep.

6:40 a.m.: Back to sleep.

6:50 a.m.: Wake up again and see that there is only ten minutes to get ready...Then crawl back into bed to sleep for five more minutes. 

6:55 a.m.: Wake up, throw on clothes, straighten out hair, and run out door for work.

6:59 a.m.: Run back in and put pants on, THEN run to work.
7:05 a.m.: Get shot at by grumpy first lieutenant for being late.
Moral of the story: Well...there isn't one...but it sure as hell is funny to watch the Colonel dodge bullets.


Roy's afternoon schedule

12:00 p.m.: Stare at stack of paperwork.

12:10 p.m.: Curse at stack of paperwork.

12:20 p.m.: Decide not to do paperwork until later, when it was due ten minutes ago.

12:30 p.m.: Got shot at by first Lieutenant and get black mailed into doing paperwork.

12:35 p.m.: Hide in the bathroom in order to get out of doing paperwork.

12:40 p.m.: Get pulled out of bathroom by Lieutenant.

12:45 p.m.: Run back into to retrieve pants.
12:50 p.m.: Bang head on desk repeatedly until head goes numb.

12:55 p.m.: Swear to self that the paper work just moved on its own.

1:00 p.m.: Realize level of sanity is decreasing.

1:10 p.m.: Hire someone to forge signature, and run away...very fast...

Moral of the story: Claiming a phobia of paper work would have been much easier...But then again, it's funny to watch Roy go nuts!
Roy's evening schedule

7:00 p.m.: Enters house upon surviving another day of work.

7:10 p.m.: Sits down to relax.

7:11 p.m.: Realizes food is needed.

7:15 p.m.: Pulls out things to cook dinner.

7:20 p.m.: Realizes that both he AND his kitchen are on fire.

7:25 p.m.: Stop. Drop. Roll.

7:45 p.m.: Emerges from charred kitchen and decides food isn't THAT necessary.

8:00 p.m.: Goes to take a shower.

8:10 p.m.: Gets out of shower, takes pants off, then gets back in. 
8:20 p.m.: Curses at Ed for replacing shampoo with glue.

8:30 p.m.: Puts clothes on, making a mental note to remember when and when NOT to wear pants...

8:40 p.m.: Answers ringing phone.

8:45 p.m.: Calmly sets phone on table and walks away as Hughes continues to talk.

9:00 p.m.: Goes to sleep.

10:00 p.m.: Rolls over.
11:20 p.m.: Mumbles incoherently about a toaster or something or other.

1:35 a.m.: Gets out of bed, picks up phone, says good bye to Hughes, and goes back to sleep.

Moral of the Story: Well...Nothing...But now we know, Hughes talks a lot, Ed likes practicle jokes, and listening to Roy talk in his sleep can make for some GOOD black mail material...


Should have listened to mother


"Colonel?"

"Mmmm...yeah?" Roy answered as he lifted his head off of his desk, with a piece of paper clinging firmly to his face from where he'd drooled all over it.

"Your paperwork is due in a few hours." A concerned Riza mentioned as she resisted the impulsing urge to roll her eyes at the immaturity level of her superior officer.

"I know..." Roy put his head back on the desk, in a way that sounded more like a bang. "But I just doin't want toooo...! I didn't join the military to sign my name 627 times!"

"627?"

"I'm just guess numbers here okay! Fine fine I'll get on it...Damn...Stupid paper work." He picked up his pen and began the endless task of scribbling his name more times then there are exhisting Yugioh cards.

"You know Colonel, if you'd do your paperwork when you fist got it, then you wouldn't have to worry about having to hurry to get it done to meet your deadline." Riza commented, in a very intellegent, and particularly Riza-like way.

"You just don't understand! These papers are AGAINST ME! YOu didn't see the way they tried to DESTROY me that one time! They're still angry that I didn't die!"

"Did your mother ever mention to you a job that you would be better suited for? Most mothers like to tell their children what they should take up as a career, they're usually right you know. My mother told me I should have been a doctor...I'm starting to think I should have listened to mother..."

"Well...My mother told me I should suffocate myself in a bodybag, then take myself down to a lake and throw myself in it...Then drown myself again...You know...Maybe I should have listened to mom...Then I wouldn't have to worry about paperwork..."

"...Okay...I'm sorry I said anything 

(In the last story, Al has his body back and he's in the military as a Lt. Colonel)

You Mean Bastard & Payback is a Bitch with a Bold Capital B and Blond Hair to go with it

"Ed, Ed are you okay?" Al said shaking Ed slightly to wake him out of his fitful dream.

"GAH!" Ed clung to Al as he snapped back to reality. "It was awful!"

"What happened?"

"I had a dream that Winry had a knife and she came up to me and said she wanted my ARM BACK! So she could do freaky experiments on MEEE!"

"OH Ed it's okay, I don't think she would really do that, now go back to sleep." Al soothed.

"Okay..." Ed laid back and rolled over on his side, promptly falling asleep.

Ed turned and opened his eyes slowly, realizing that it was already morning. He sat up and notcied that Al was already gone. He grumbled and got up, shuffling out of the bedroom lazily.

He rubbed his eyes as he saw Winry standing in the kitchen. 

"Hi Ed!" She smiled.

"Uh...Hi Winry, what are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd visit you! You to to say hello and..."

"And?"

"I NEED YOUR ARM BACK ED!" She cackled wickedly pulling out a knife.

Ed screamed bloody murder and flew out the door as fast as his short legs would allow him to go.
Al stood up from behind the counter and busted out into a hysterical fit of laughter. "Here, go by that..um...thing you wanted." He managed to say between laughing fits as he handed her a couple wrenches.

"YAY! Tell Ed I mean him no harm!" She ran out happily.

"Oh man..." He shook his head as Ed wandered back inside with this 'eat shit and die' look on his face. "That was golden Ed!"

"You mean bastard...I hope you drown in a bathtub!" Ed stomped back into their bedroom. 'This means WAR!' He thought to himself.
The next day Al walked, or should we say, dragged himself into his office. He planned on spending at the very least the next four days in that very spot behind his desk. There was NO way he was going home...Not after what Ed did...Oh yes he'd gotten his amusment out of Ed's dream with Winry and the knife, but Ed did quite the number in return.

For instance, Al's eyes STILL burned from the effect of the hot sauce, that Ed had replaced his shampoo with. Yes that was a very RUDE awakening. Not to mention ended with him rolling his face all over the carpet...Naked no less...Oh yes but it DOES get better. That's right Ed borrowed Hughes camera so that he could relive the moment any time he wanted!

Al had quietly crawled back into the bathroom, where he stayed for the rest of the night and most of the morning, crying over the massive wound to his ego. 

That is until Ed gently coaxed him out of the bathroom and into the second stage of hell, as Al found himself referring it to.

Yes, Ed was quite conniving when he wanted to be. Put it this way, Al would NEVER look at breakfast in the same light again...Especially considering Ed had been so kind as to replace the milk with glue, also noting the fact that EVERYTHING He cooked had, or should have had, milk in it. Of course poor Al didn't know this until he found his lips stuck together.

And then Al when off to brush his teeth, which Ed seemed quite prepared for, seeing as how he replaced the toothpaste with mayonaise. Needless to say Al had to run his tongue all over the carpet to make it go away. Yet another opportunity for Ed to capture the moment.

Al then proceeded to lock himself in a closet. Ed was also prepared for this as he left momentarily. He did return though, with a certain person of which, getting people out of closets was a long standing family trait that ran for generations. Yes, that's right, poor Al was subjected to Armstrong's over whelming need to prove his abilities.

Al bolted. He ran straight for the window and treathened to jump if any one came close to him. Of course, in Al's temporary insanity, he forgot that their dorm room window was only three feet off the ground...

Ed practically cackled as Al fell out the window and landed over a bucket of still water, nearly breaking his back AND soaking himself at the same time, not to mention freezing his ass off as it was only 30 degrees out side.

Now was the time he decided to, puting it in his words, run for his fucking life. Oh yes, he high tailed it, not caring that he only had one shoe, no shirt and his pants were barely hanging on. He NEEDED to get away! He ran into his office and shut the door. He didn't turn the light on for fear of giving himself away.

And so he sat at his desk quietly...Realizing that payback is a BITCH! With a bold capital B and blonde hair to go with it. He decided that, oh between four and eight days sounded like a good hide away from Ed period. Hell, Ed should have already figured he'd won...That's the last time he'd play a joke on Ed...
So they say.

If you didn't like it tought I laughed my ass off. Oh well thats pretty much it.
So leave a nice comment please. ^_^ greatly appreciated!
Edward Elric is HOT!! LOL (even if he is anime) Don't make fun of me because guess what you are thinking it too.





These are two completely diffrent sides of Garra that you won't see any where else!


<img:http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y24/kohaku_19/naruto.jpg







Ha ha ha I love this pic.

I love Pirates, Ruroni Kenshin, InuYasha, Dragon Ball, Yu Yu Hakisho, Vash the stampede, Trigun ,cowboy bebop, Full Metal Alchemist, anime in general. I love to read comic books. (MANGA) TT_TT ^_^ I am a bit of a nerd but oh well. Send me a message will ya? (I like pokemon too)