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sexy jess 4 eva (soz i cnt go on no more im banned bi mi mam)
jo and her goats lol i can see your undies!!nice undies mmmmm stripy lol
Elfpack titles and orders
[fuck you all
] my coolio mate watch out
] shes ma bum chum(im not a lezzo)no offence 2 any out there she makes me laff and is as dirty as fuked up frenchmen.
]-leanne is such a goth its unbeliavable shes my bezzie and is a great m8.
[hannah} we av our differences but shes cool and quite a good rolller sk8ter haha
]-dunno if she likes me hmmmm[Niamh
] (neve)] funny and small that bout sums her up
]brandon luvs jennny!!
]-shes my little kitty kat!
[amiee]smells like cheese
[sarah] nice and kind 2 me
[adam p] cool and enjoyes chukin pens at people.
[jenny-phoo] wowo she is da coolest and had bum sex wiv brandon lol visit [JENNA.co.uk;] now
shupariusshah hes da nicest guy eva
Put an '*' for all the things you have done]
[*] been drunk .
[ ] smoked pot.
[ ] kissed a member of the same sex.
[*] rode in a taxi.
[*] been dumped.
[ ] shoplifted.
[ ] been fired.
[ ] been in a fist fight.
[*] snuck out of your parent's house.
[ ] been arrested.
[ ] made out with a stranger.
[ ] stole something from your job.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[*] went on a blind date.
[ ] lied to a friend.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in New Orleans.
[ ] been to Europe.
[*] skipped school.
[ ] thrown up from drinking.
[ ] lost your sibling...
[ ] played 'clue'.
[*] had a sleepover party.
[*] went ice skating.
[*] been cheated on.
[*] have a bf.
[*] have a crush.
[ ] feel loved.
[*] feel lonely.
[ ] feel happy.
[ ] think you're attractive.
[*] have a dog.
[*] have your own room.
[ ] listen to rap
[*] paint your nails.
[ ] have more than 1 best friend.
[ ] get good grades.
[*] have slippers.
[*] wear eyeliner
[*] like to read.
[*] like to write.
[*] have long hair.
[*] have a mobile.
[ ] have a laptop.
[ ] ugly.
[ ] ok.
[ ] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[*] a virgin.
[ ] taken.
[ ] not looking
[*] talking to someone.
[*] scared to die.
[ ] annoyed.
[ ] hungry.
[ ] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[*] in your room.
[ ] drinking something.
[ ] eating something
[*] in your pjs.
[*] listening to music
Rare to find.
Loves being in long relationships.
Amazing in bed, the BEST lovers.
Funny Bumper Stickers/Quotes
“If you’re not living life on the edge you’re talking up too much space.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
” No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.
A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night
All stressed out and nobody to choke!
Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy
Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk
Believe in Darwin; cancer cures smoking.
Conserve water - Shower with a friend
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Doctor's say I have a multiple personality, but we don't agree with that.
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
I Know What You’re Thinking And You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself.
I Was Born Brilliant; Education Ruined Me
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
You can't be late until you show up.
You have been a naughty boy, go to my room!
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. Would you? Will you?
.C(")(") oOo there's money involved?
(¬.¬)<< you know she's gonna stab you right?
.c(")(") WEED??? WHAT WEED,huh?
(")U U(") Drunk bunny!
(@.@)<< I'M NOT PSYCHO!!! *COUGHCOUGH*
" " World domination bunny!
(;_;)<<SHE PUSHED ME!!!!*CRIES*
( . .)
C(")(") Cuddle Bunny
(*o*)<<OMG! WAS THAT Katie K. Robertson!?!?!?
.C(")(")Bunny on weed
.C(")(")Gosh darn it!
.( 'o' ).
.C(")(") Im tellin' yo mama! "pbbt!"
.C(")(") who really gives a crap?!
he stole it^
1.Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Did you message me just because of how i look?
16. If i had something stuck in my teeth would you tell me?
17. Do you cyber?
18. Do you smoke?
19. Could you keep a secret?
20. What's your fav color?
21. Would You ever date me?
22. would you ever fuck me?
23. Do you think im hott?
[Verse 1: Eminem]
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train.
Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember that there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the BITCH in the kitchen!"
20 ways to keep yourself sane:
[1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses]
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
[3. Every time someone asks you to do something,]
ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
[5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.]
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
[7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
[9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.]
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
[11. Specify that your drive-through! order is "to go".]
12. Sing along at the opera.
[13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.]
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
[15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.]
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Devon.
[17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"]
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
[19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."]
20. Put this in all of your profiles
I can’t believe It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer,going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all,it was your first time to have a tooth pulled. Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinking? PERVERT I know what you were thinking!!
http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?03jnesha dont go on it save yourself!!
30 things to do to piss your parents off:
1) Follow them around the house every where
2) Moo when they say your name
3) Run into walls
4) Say that wearing clothes is against your religion
5) Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin and say"good morning sunshine
6) pluck someones hair out and yell "DNA!"
7) Wear a sticker that says "im retarded"
8) have 20 imaginary friends that talk to you all the time
9) In public yell out" no mom/dad i will not make out with you!"
10) Do what they actually tell you to do]
11) Jump off a roof trying to fly
12) Hold there hand and whisper "i see dead people"
13) Everything they say yell "liar!"
14) Try to swim on the floor
15) Tap on there door all night
16) Pretend to have amnesia
17) Say everything backwards
18) Give yourself a swirly
19) Run around with a lamp shade on your head screaming "the sun! its dying!"
20) Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your underwear
21) Have nervous spasms at spontaneus times
22) Snort loudly when you laugh then laugh harder
23) Run in circles
24) Recite a whole movie 3 times
25) Pretend to beat yourself up
26) Slither evrywhere
27) Wear you pants on your head and your shirt on your waist....tell them your making a fashion statement
28) Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way
29) Super glue your finger to your nose
30) Talk to a pen
[WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A COP!]
1 I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
[2.] Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
[3.] Hey!!!! aren't you the guy from the Village People?
[4.] Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
[5.] Are You Andy or Barney?
[6.] I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
[7.] Oh GOD!!! you're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
[8.] What the fuck?! I pay your salary!
[9.] Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
[10.] Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
[11.] I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
[12.] When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
[13.]"Officer I wasn't speeding...I was qualifying for NASCAR
|Age: 15||Year of birth: 1991||Month of birth: 7||Day of birth: 2|
What do you do?: Studying
Place of living: United Kingdom-England
Exact place of living: my own little world
Home-page URL: #
Elfpack crew wannabe: No
|goth||hip hop||new age|
|boardgames||books||chasing the preferred sex|
Civil status: married
Sexual preference: opposite sex
Body shape: plump