I'm just a normal person who loves anything to do with the outdoors. I am here to keep in touch with my daughter who was the one who told me about elfpack.




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........................ ‘’~-,,-~ Help stewie rule the world! copy and paste on your house. DAMN YOU ALL!
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20 Ways to keep your sanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape
of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard Devon.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."

20. Put this in all of your profiles.


I will alway's protect you even at the cost of my life twisted love]


WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A COP!
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)


2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.


3. Hey!!!! aren't you the guy from the Village People?


4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!


5. Are You Andy or Barney?


6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.


7. Oh GOD!!! you're not gonna check the trunk, are you?


8. What the fuck?! I pay your salary!


9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!


10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.


11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.


12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


13."Officer I wasn't speeding...I was qualifying for NASCAR