i walk down a road,
the life i lead,
it confuses me everyday,
throwing me back into the mix,
taking me down,
i don't know where,
but down i fall.
holding on to the end,
i feel so close to falling,
so close to loosing it all,
so close to falling apart,
where will i fall,
in the end i will,
but where will i fall?
the walls close in on me,
pressing me to a point,
a point where i break,
falling apart into nothing,
just a figment is left.
as i come to the end,
i see something,
i can't quite make it out,
it's someone screaming,
someone tearing at themselves,
tearing themselves apart,
and at last i realize,
- Charles Jones - 9/25/06 @ 9:40:27 p.m.
THE DARKNESS INSIDE
When I look back upon the life I've already had,
I begin to wonder,
Wonder if my life is worth living,
Wonder if I'm truly alive in this sickly demented world that Shows death at every corner,
Death that overwhelms us all,
Only to realize it when we're down to our last day.
As I walk on the path of darkness,
I see the hatred inside of me,
I begin to see the blindness of reality,
Then it hits me,
I'm just a pawn in a game that never ends with the hatred Inside of others,
But with my own hatred,
And now I know the fear that my creative life was lost in this World when I first stepped into it,
The cold and harsh reality of life is that you never really see the Point until you're down on your knees,
Begging for the death that you so richly deserve,
But you're rejected by the torturous hell that you are a part of.
And so ends reality in deception,
With your final answers,
You perish into the darkness,
And see but a flicker of reality,
And then you're gone.
Oct. 7, 2003 at 8:57 AM
Let Me Die
for i am only a being of hell's purgatory,
i don't know how to explain the hatred i have,
my nightmares are one with reality,
my death will bring the end to my suffering.
you look at me as if i'm killing the world,
the only thing i say in my defense is,
for my life is deaths own and my time is marked with hell,
so let it be as the past,
and let me go into the darkness,
for my end shall be quick and painless,
and i will not ask for mercy,
because i am the hell of realistically fantastical hatred that withdraws in the night,
only to devour the life i see.
i feel you holding on,
i try to push away,
but i can't,
i scream out to you to let go,
you tell me that you won't,
why must i live in this world,
a world with so much deceit that it overthrows itself,
a world that only vowes creativity to those up to dieing a painful death,
a world of such hate.
and then you let go,
i feel free,
and i look back at you and remember how much i'll miss you,
and i cry in this darkness.
the only words i can say are these,
thank you for letting me go,
for i am happier,
but i feel something missing,
A Heavenly Feeling
There’s a feeling,
Deep within my soul,
A feeling I can’t explain,
Never quite understanding what it is,
But I love this feeling,
A feeling that envelops me.
I thought my heart stopped,
Stopped loving any soul,
Thought it was numb to feeling,
But I was wrong,
I’m deep in a feeling,
A feeling of deep love.
Life seemed to forget me,
Pushing me to the side,
Never giving me a chance,
Always being ignorant of me,
But I guess I was wrong,
I just had to open my eyes.
Nothing was going my way,
Everything was against me,
My luck has changed,
For the better I believe,
I’ll be at peace with life,
One day I will be where I belong,
I will be with her,
With the one I belong with.
Love is in my heart,
Completely taking me over,
Making me whole,
Life has taken a turn,
A turn for the best,
A turn that was needed,
An overdue turn.
Freedom from hatred,
Grateful of this angel,
The passionate love within,
Starts to flow through my veins,
The love uncovered from a tomb,
And I’m free from the past.
I have more to live for,
A love bursts out,
Like as if it was building up,
Growing throughout time,
Breaking down the walls I put up,
The walls that kept me,
The walls that barred me from love,
Only hatred seemed allowed,
But love has freed me.
-Charles Richard Jones-
9/23/2006 @ 8:34:55 AM
A Formed Shadow
A silence breaks through fogged air,
A shrill voice pierces through the night,
A shadow lurks within the confines of darkness,
No presence of like exists,
The vile creature steps forward,
A robe of death's caretaker is visible.
Hatred swarms through its veins,
Creating a hallowed grave for those living,
The living souls that walk at day,
Fear nonexistent in this foul creature,
Driven only by hate of the living.
The shadow has no mask,
Decomposition present now,
Skin falling short to form,
A face that was is no more,
Only this lifeless thing remains.
In the darkness,
This shadow lurks,
Waiting in patient hatred,
Once a man but is no more,
Who is this foul creature?
He is the death that plagues the living,
Horror in death,
He is the end of life,
HE IS THE REAPER,
Death lurks one step away,
Will it be your time next?
Only time will tell.
10/1/06 @ 3:53:30 PM
as i fall down on my knees,
i look to the sky as if it held something,
looking onward to find peace,
only finding disturbance within,
demons rising from a past unwanted,
hatred the only emotion shown,
my face twists and contorts.
i walk alone on this path,
finding nothing to comfort me,
finding only one more demon from a shallow past,
a past with no forgiveness,
a past not too long ago,
a past which holds no true beauty,
a past i wish to forget.
i run from prevailing hell,
rising from the darkness within,
rising from the pit of despair,,
rising from the pits of my memory,
my past haunts me,
i wish for an end to it,
the nightmare i call life,
i wish for this despair to leave me.
in the end a question arises,
or rather so many do,
what have i become?
where will it end?
how will it all cease?
have i made countless victims?
will i ever be free?
only time will tell.
3/19/07 @ 1:35 am
DISGUST IN THE FACE OF HORROR
as i walk down the line,
a line of life or death,
i see the horrors that surround,
the beauty that surpasses,
all the true wonders confound me,
never have i seen such wonders.
following the simplicity within,
walking the path of the plausible,
i stop and stand to find the path of the harsh,
as i walk down this path of cruelty,
i see faces of those whom i know,
and shock envelopes my soul.
the fear of anger and supression,
the anger biding hatred to those living ,
and surpassing the living unto the dead,
the falicies that surround disgust,
the cruelty enveloping the known,
taking flight in the unknown.
the putred stink of disgust saturates the air,
all the air that surrounds the souls within,
never ceasing to devour the living with selection,
taking all in which take part in sight,
always seeing the detesting look on my face,
how could this be done without remorse?
disbelief seen within my eyes,
unknowingly have i entered a world,
a world i do not belong within,
a world where the sickness of vicious hatred lives,
a world in which no remorse is known,
a world i will never understand.
September 15, 2007 @ 11:13pm
Terror Will Not Be Accepted
when all that is fails to secure,
when all that is no longer stands,
the rubble standing in front of you,
the remainder of what you knew,
the horrors that run through you,
the disbelief that shocks you,
can you see what is possible?
what does this world do to help?
when will this world be united?
will freedom be fully embraced?
who will stand up for life in the end?
why does it take devastation for us to work together?
looking around the surroundings,
seeing the knowledge of what may be,
of the simplicity of how complex life is,
seeing what most fail to heed fully,
knowing what may be if nothing is done,
if nothing is done to end this debilitating fear,
a fear stretching through your very being.
knowing not what will be but advancing,
looking for the best in others to proceed,
never falling to stay down at any point,
staying down is not an option anymore,
inaction can cause the harsh deaths of many,
actions not taken by those that know,
why not avert disaster when you possess the knowledge?
to the final testament i step forward,
i refuse to let lives be destroyed for no reason,
anger writhes through me as fear spreads by terrorism,
with a bullet for those souls that defy life,
down to hell will be sent by my hands,
those that threaten will not walk away unscathed,
they will suffer or i will never again wake.
The Difference Of Two Contrasted
You can hate me for who I am,
You can hate me for what I do,
You can hate me for being real,
You can do what you want to,
Your words are not important.
I am who I am and that’s that,
I do what I do because I have morals,
I am real because that’s me,
I won’t judge you for you,
My every word is justified.
What words you speak are futile,
They cannot sharpen minds,
They burn the hopes of countless,
They are so full of seething despair,
Yet you say you know the truth.
What words I choose to speak are truth,
They change the day for the best,
They spring hope anew to countless,
They give understanding for all,
Yet you say I’m not who I say I am.
When you look back at life,
You see all the destruction,
You see all the problems,
You see all the unwanted hatred,
Can you say you are proud for what you did?
When I look back at my past,
I see some of the bad and good,
I know there’s a lot of pain,
But there’s also some hope for betterment,
I can say I’m proud of what I’ve done!
A Formulation Of One
Silken dreams flowing as the water,
Lightened by the beauty unsuppressed,
Stretching down from the heavens,
Lighting the days of many unknowingly,
Knowledge coming from within confines,
Unwittingly finding themselves.
Likeness to a goddess shown,
Caressing the liveliness of mortality,
Lovely as the sirens song of Greek myth,
Luring is the serenity called forth within,
Masking no harshness but only the forbidden,
A mortal goddess now shown to mankind.
Where there is no mask to hide behind,
Shown to all is the lively sensuality,
Caressing the hearts of few to show life,
Watching the nights turn to day upon time,
Letting others find reason to seek,
All are seeking the idea of serene love.
Tender as melodies for which children hear,
Yet able to fiercely contend with raging storms,
Caring as a true mother for their child,
Yet able to strike down the wicked with words,
Temptation that beckons from her words,
Yet able to make perverse creatures back down.
In which of mortal being do I speak of?
In what kind of mortal can be likened to a goddess?
In who do these words signify so dearly?
In too few words there are to find this being,
In reality this one soul shows clearly,
For one to know this being would be truly blessed.
~Charles R. Jones~
10/7/2008 @ 12:58 AM
A Delight For All
the laughter of children echo into the night,
waiting for all of coming tides once more,
awaiting a time for cheer and folly,
another year to see white flakes as cold as ice,
what begins as simple as a thought is to come,
and ends with the better of another happy year.
love and laughter fill the air,
hearts bursting to await the day,
children waiting outside playing,
snowmen arise here and there,
angels made in glistening white,
whilst the parents watch in silent delight.
tucked away in coats for warmth,
singing songs of merry cheer,
people letting cheer fill the air,
lights aglow from top to bottom,
trees decorated in every house,
some topped with stars and some with angels.
when day first starts to see what is,
children wish to see the greatness,
when it comes time to go inside,
parent and children bake delights,
children awaiting Santa and his reindeer,
for christmas shall come forth in one night.
when they awake upon morning time,
children wake with glee to see what has come,
they see the milk and cookies gone and smile,
for they know that Ole Saint Nick has come,
they find the greatness of what they have,
as they see the day of such love and hope.
a time for thanks and giving,
a time for cheer and folly,
a time for family and friends alike,
a time for sharing and hope anew,
a time for oh so much for you and me,
christmas springs this and so much more.
If you feel like contacting me via phone, make sure you have a heads up and that i myself am on elfpack before even considering calling.
Home: 1 302 231 2046