"That name sounds familiar..."
~ Oscar Wilde on Dir en grey
"Dir en grey made us add theatrics in the early days... they made us do it at gunpoint"
~ Alice Cooper on Dir en grey
"They've been a real influence... ever since Kyo fucked my parents..."
~ Marilyn Manson on Dir en grey
Dir en grey is a group of entertainers founded by four Japanese ex-Clinjas who became disillusioned with the commercial nature of the Clinja way and broke off to perform their own original act, which included balloon art, traditional origami, and Christian rock.
The original "Scene" kids
After 5 years as a top-ranked Clinja, future Dir en grey leader Kaoru became weary of the screeching laughter of children and senseless bloodshed that went along with the Clinja lifestyle and sought out a means by which he could make a positive contribution to society. Coming together with three other like-minded Clinjas named Toshiya, Die, and Shinya, the four decided that their calling was to go non-profit and entertain not only wealthy children, but also less fortunate children, as well as the elderly and incontinent in rest homes across Japan.
In a brainstorming session involving copious amounts of rose hip tea and crumpets, leader Kaoru came up with the edgy group name of “The Give-a-Darn Gang”, which was later changed to “The Give-a-Darn Fellows”, as member Shinya pointed out that the word “gang” had negative connotations. Shinya loves everything, in fact he rapes his dog. Although none of the four were thoroughly pleased with the name, they decided to keep it tentatively, and for the time being went to find new wardrobe to replace their Clinja garb. This wardrobe would consist of primarily garter belts, leather bras, and absolutely fabulous nail art. Upon asking the store employee where they purchased their attire how they looked, the employee looked at the four men and coldly replied “Dur . . umm . . gay?” However, the four misinterpreted what the employee said to be either "deer in grey" or “Dir en grey” which had an irresistible ring to it. Considering Toshiya's immense fear of deer the group renamed itself "Dir en grey" on the spot.
Dir en grey would go on to perform Christian rock and various other forms of non-abrasive entertainment at minor venues across Japan, while receiving only Laffy Taffy and Yu-Gi-Oh Pogs for pay. Aside from their activities as a group, the members also worked part-time jobs at fast-food restaurants and trendy mall shops, while still managing to pitch in as volunteers at various youth groups.
18 months after Dir en grey formed, Kyo Tempura, a loyal Christian 12-year old bulimic dwarf with Tourette’s Syndrome and a rare fatal brain disease, requested to have his dream of becoming a rock singer be fulfilled by the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Jumping at any chance to do a good deed, Dir en grey answered the request and agreed to have Kaoru step down temporarily as the lead singer of the band to allow to Kyo to take over the position until the day the little bugger croaked, which wasn’t expected to be very far off.
The entry of Kyo into the band would be a decided turning point for the artistic direction of Dir en grey.
WARNING: ONE DAY KYO WILL FUCK YOUR PARENTS.
Kyo, professing his love to his savior, Jesus Christ
Hack Spew Vomit Bloody Cunt Aborted Fetus Shit Bile
With their new terminally ill lead singer, Dir en grey was never the same, and lyrics such as “Help a friend in need / This is a world of greed”, and "Hurry up! Hurry up! Wrist Cut Show/Take it in the backside from a half dead goat!" sounded like nothing more than the bellowing of a spastic demon-possessed orangutan when sung by Kyo. In fact, even when the lyrics were scarcely intelligible they usually concerned the mutilation of babies, eating human vital organs, and graphically violent forms of suicide.
At every live performance Kyo began the trademark practice of eating something unspeakably foul before going on stage, jumping around frantically while “singing”, and puking up the content of his stomach on the stage (and on the faces of numerous attendees seated in the front row). At the end of the concert fans would have a chance at winning McDonalds gift certificates if they could guess what the hell Kyo upchucked (see the “I’m Lovin’ Vomit” promotion). However, due to the consistently outlandish nature of what he regurgitated, a single correct guess has never been given. Kyo made the group immensely popular, and Dir en grey soon went from sparsely attended birthday parties to major venues such as Tokyo Dome, Japanese Schoolgirl's sleepovers and the Delta Center in Salt Lake City, Utah.
The Black Metal Years
To some the Dir en grey Super Black Metal Extravagasm of 2000 Black Hearted Moons (DSBME2000BHM for short) never happened. To some, it was their shining moment. The band struggled with Pocky addiction and the loss of their "secret" member, young Junichiro Koizumi to kittens, who is now Japan's leading pachinko player, with a record of 1039449 wins and 3 losses (all to Elvis Presley).
Depressed, and suffering from Type A diabeties, they went into rehab where they wrote such songs as Hirohito Rising (Kamikaze Mix), Chaos Control, and the infamous Symphonic Vomitus Birth of the Maggot Infested Christ, Lord of the Undead Children of the Lake of Fire (parts I, II, DCLXVI). Out of rehab in 20x6, Dir en grey returned to the studio to record, MacaBeelzebubaacebaba, their happiest album yet. With their tour "Tour x6 > x7: Code of Decency[ism]" postponed from their recovery, they were frantic to tour and each night passed out in exhaustion and rabid Fangirl sex. Many fans say the black metal years were just a phase, but some influence can be seen in their recent albums.
Dir en grey: The Black Metal© years
Dir en grey with Junichiro Koizumi hours before his death.
Present Dir en grey
Although first turned off by the whimsical yet sociopathic antics of Kyo, and unhappy with the drastic changes their band underwent, the other four members realized that they were getting a lot more ass than they did even as Clinjas, and quickly scrapped the silly ideals by which they originally formed the band. Kyo, who proved more resilient than doctors had predicted, became the permanent lead singer of Dir en grey, and continues to evoke suicidal impulses in lonely teenagers.
Now they set their aims to the United States, where they plan to tour consecutively on to 2017 with their current 6 location Japan/Germany/Brazil/Morocco/Iran/Iraq/Zaire/Ethiopia/Hawaii/Trinidad and Tobago 「WE'RE NOT [a] FUXXIN' ~VISUAL Kei~ BAND ANY'MORE･･･」INWARD FART Tour.
From left to right: Little Miss Nugget, Will Smith, Bono, Die, better know as Princess Tiddlywinks of Cupcake Land, and... is ... is.. that Billy Joe Armstrong!?
The US fanbase consists of anime otakus, wapanese, and Hot Topic shopping emos.
Their newest album "The Wheelbarrow's Made Of Chrome" was leaked all across the internet sometime february 2nd 2007 causing a mass shutdown of many prominent sites such as "google" when searches for the illigeal album hit fever pitch. Since piracy is wrong, this site will not provide a link to the album except to say http://blackflowermusic.com/ is a great site especially with /deg-moab.zip at the end!
WARNING: ONE DAY KYO WILL FUCK YOUR PARENTS.
MISSA Murder (EP) (39 B.C.)
Pause (The CD Player) (1468)
Six Ugly Muthafuckaz (EeePee) (1982)
Withering on Meth (2005-ish?)
The Aggravated Scream of Faggots (2006.5 Mark 5: Collectors Edition)
The Wheelbarrow's Made Of Chrome (7/2/07 Not yet released but confirmed to be made of chrome)
Note: Their music videos (or PVs-Panooch Vomital Syndrome) tend to make people vomit up blood and gouge their eyes out with clothes hangers.
Things Vomited Up By Kyo
Neon Sega Genesis Angel Lion®
Davey Havok's vagina
A whale spleen
The guy from Fire Emblem
Chief Justice of the Surpreme Court
Back to Vulgarity: A Tribute to Dir en grey