hey i am colette i love two chat and hand out with friends and going two pictures and i really like anything just ask me what you wan
i wrote this 


night falling softly
the stars come out
the sound of the waves make me feel sad
as i think of a little boy crying in a corner
the colour of the sky
starts to change
from blue to red
as the sun goes down
the sound of the beach
became louder
as the crabs scuttle around
and as the the seagulls suawk
the boy still cries
he hears none of the sounds
his sobs can be heard
as night falls softly
makeing me feel sad    

A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..

Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

*Girl hugs him*

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.

(In the paper the next day)

A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but

only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his
breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved
him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even
though it meant that he would die.

Artist: Billy Connolly
Song: The Evil Scotsman

If your looking for trouble,
Your in the right place,
Don't look at me like that, or i'll headbutt your face
i'm a mean motherfucker,
i was born that way,
and just because i wear a skirt don't think i'm fuckin' gay.

Cause i'm an evil scotsman,
and Jimmy is my name,
i'm a sheep shagger from Aberdeen,
and causing pain is my game.

Now if your a woman,
married or not,
al take all your kit off and i'll dive in your mot,
i'll take your legs and spread them wide,
and then i'll put a wet suit on and sh@g you from the side,

Cause i'm an evil scotsman,
and Jock is my name,
and the girls are all gaggin' for a portion of my penins cock,

Yes i'm an evil Scotsman
and my name is Jock

i've got one hand in my pocket
and i'm playing with my penins cock

i don't care where you come from,
if your big or your small,
i've fought the best,
and i beat them all.
If your english or irish,
you wont have to die,
but if you are a German you can kiss your arse goodbye.

i'm an evil scotsman,
and Jock is my name,
if you don't like the rules don't play the fuckin' game,
yes, i'm an evil Scotsman
my name is Jock!
and the girls are just dying for a portion of my penins cock.

OH Yeah,
Fuckers,
Wankers,
knob ends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Artist: Billy Connolly
Song: The Welly Song


If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you'd be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you'd have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

wellys they are wonderful
wellys they are swell cause they keep out the water
and they keep in the smell.
and when yur sittin' in a room
you can always tell when some bugger takes aff his wellys.

If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you'd be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you'd have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

Or when your out walkin' in the country wae a bird
and your strollin' over fields just like a farmers herd
and somebody shouts keep aff the grass
and you think how obsurd
and Squelch you find why farmers all wear wellys

If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you'd be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you'd have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

theres fishermen and firemen theres farmers an all
men out diggin' ditches and workin' in the snow
this country it wid grind to a halt and no a thing wid grow
if it wisnae fur the workers in their wellys.

If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you'd be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you'd have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

now Edward Heath and wilson
they hivnae made a hit
they are ruinin' this country
mare than just a bit
if they keep on the way their goin'
we'll all be in the sh!t
so you better git your feet in your wellys.

If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you'd be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you'd have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

* ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ *


boy: i saw her today
girl: i saw him today
boy: it seems like its been forever
girl: i wonder if he still cares
boy: she looks better then before
girl: i couldnt stop staring at him
boy: i asked her how things were going
girl: i asked about his new girlfriend
boy: id choose her over any girl im with
girl: hes probly really happy right now
boy: i couldnt look at her without starting to cry
girl: he couldnt even look at me
boy: i told her i miss her
girl: he doesnt mean it
boy: i meant it
girl: he didnt mean it
boy: i love her
girl: he loves his new girlfriend
boy: i held her for the last time
girl: he gave me a friendly hug
boy: then i went home and cried
girl: then i went home and cried
boy: i lost her
girl: i love him


Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: What would you choose: your life...or me?
Boy: My life
The Girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you are my life.]


[ This is Really Sad....]

girl: hey baby i want to show you....
Boy: ( cutting her off ) ugh i'm so mad
Girl: why? whats wrong ?
Boy: ugh everything
Girl: explain baby
Boy: just lost a championship game,
parents flipped out on me for no reason,
and im catching a cold
Girl: well hey there will always be other games,
you know ill take care of you when your sick,
what your parents flip about ?
Boy: they are making me pay them for a car repair
Girl: is it alot of money
Boy: no it just sucks
Boy: but hey i dont feel well im going to go lay down
Boy: bye
Girl: wait i want to give you some...
Boy: cant it wait til tommorow ?
Girl: yeah sure
Girl: bye
Boy: bye


2 hours later a friend of hers asks her to go for a drive ...she
goes.....
her friend swerved to avoid a truck....hitting a tree instead
her friend was killed instantly....shes in critical condition
This is the conversation between her sister and her boyfriend
Sister: omg ( crying )
Boy: what? whats wrong ?
Sister: my sister...your gf was involved in a major car wreck
Boy: is she ok ? ?????
Sister: shes in critical condition
Boy: i'll be there in 10 minutes
He shows up to the hospital room ...standing outside the door
going over the last conversation in his mind over and over as he
heard the machines beep and beep and breathing tubes pump
Boy: she wanted to give me something or tell me something
Girls mom: yeah this...
it was an envelope smelling like she did sealed with a kiss in
lipstick
he opened it.....
it said ..... your everything to me....i love you with everything i
am
and everything i have...i want to spend the rest of my life with you
sealed in it was a ripped movie ticket from the first movie they
went to
and the first picture they took together
he kissed the picture as a tear fell from his face onto the picture
it looked as if in the picture she was crying
then the machines flatlined....3 minutes later she was pronounced
dead


*this one is Fucking Funny*

[*a girls first time*
(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)
It's your first time. As you lie back your
muscles tighten. You put him
off for a while searching for an excuse, but he
;refuses to be swayed as he
approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you
shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first
time his finger has found
the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver;
your body tenses; but
he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks
deeply within your eyes
and tells you to trust him - he's done this many
times before. His cool
smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him
;more room for an easy
entrance.You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,
but he slowly takes his
time, wanting to cause you as little pain as
possible. As he presses
;closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give
way; pain surges throughout
your body and you feel the slight trickle of
blood as he continues. He
looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too
painful.Your eyes are
filled with tears but you shake your head and nod
for him to go on. He
begins going in and out with skill but you are
now too numb to feel him
within you. After a few moments, you feel
something bursting within you and
he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to
have it over. He looks
at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with
chuckle; that you have been
his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your
dentist. After all,it was your first time to have
a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty!]

[the end of his senior year in high school.
Unfortunately,
he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9
years
old.

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
They
have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already
asleep
on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.
As you
might expect things start to heat up.

The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells
his
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if
she
wants a new position.

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

She screams.

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!


Whoa!!!

PULL IT OUT!!!


PULL IT OUT NOW!!!

I can't get pregnant!

Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my
face!*!*!*!*!]


This is The funniest thing ever....
[This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"


"What? You're crazy!" she said.

"Look, don't worry," he said. "It will be quick, I promise you."

"Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody..."

"At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it."

"I've already said NO, and NO is final!"

"Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too."

"NO!!! I've said NO!!!"

Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this blowjob."

At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, 'Dammit, give him the blowjob or I'll have to blow him but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep.'"]


[Dear Mommy,
I am in heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap.He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what happened.
I was so excited when i started realizing my existence.I was in a dark yet comfortable place. I saw i had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my early days, I felt a special bonding between me and you.Sometimes i heard you crying and i cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard daddy yelling back. I was sad and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldnt imagine why you so unhappy.That same day the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm comfortable place i was in. I was so scared, i began screaming, but there was no sound. I guess they had you all pinned down, because you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as i was screaming and screaming. Complete terror is all that i felt. I screamed until i thought i couldnt anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arm off. It hurt so bad, the pain i could never explain. It didnt stop. Oh how i begged it to stop, i screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. though i was in complete pain, I realized i was dying. I knew i would never see your face or hear how you loved me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now i couldnt; all my dreams were shattered. Though i was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for i was dying a painful death. I could only imagine what terrible things they were doing to you.I wanted to tell you that i love you before i was gone, but i didnt know the words you could understand. And soon i no longer had the breath to say them, i was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big, beautiful place. I was still crying but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to Jesus and sat me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then i was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me.He answered,"Abortion, i am sorry my child; for i know how it feels." I dont know what abortion is; i guess thats the name of the monster.Im writing to say that i love you and to tell you how much i wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I had the will, but i couldnt. The monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know i tried to stay with you. I didnt want to leave. Also, mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, i love you and i would hate for you to go the kind of pain i did. Please be careful.
Love,
Your baby girl

thats so sad story

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