[Down Inside I'm Bleeding] gave this joke to us:


Two muffins were cooking in an oven. The first muffin turns to the other and says "Boy is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?"

The second muffins says, "AHHH! TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Thanks to [::You're So Last Tuesday::] for this joke!

One day a tour bus going into the Swiss Alps careened off the road into a jagged valley killing all. Upon arriving at heavens gates, there was God. He was granting one wish to each victim for their gruesome death. The first person was considerably ugly, and wished to be beautiful. It was the same story for the next person, and the next. It would seem this bus had been filled ugly people. When the last person was finally being served, God asked "Why've you been laughing this whole time?" The person then replied "Make them all ugly again"

Joke from [i wanna b moose]

Q. What's white and can't climb trees?
A. A fridge

Thanks to [yung n fresh] for this joke :)

A husband is at home watching a football game when his Wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? Its been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It wont close properly."

To which he replies, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have a Westinghouse logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Fine," she says, "Then, would you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're a mess and a real hazard."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says., "Does it look like I have a Black and Decker logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so." He continued, "In fact, Ive had enough of all your Bickering. I'm going to the bar!"

So, the pleasant husband goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. Sometime later, he starts to feel guilty about his treatment of his wife, so he decides to return home and help out with the chores.

As he walks into the house, he notices the steps have been repaired. Then, as he enters the house, he notices the hall light is working again. And, to top it off, when he goes to get a beer from the fridge, he notices the fridge door has been fixed.

"Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

His wife replies, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then, a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either have sex with him or bake him a cake."

"So, what kind of cake did you bake him?" asks the husband.

"Hellooooooo!" she replies emphatically, "Do you see a Betty Crocker logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so!"