look...i've done some things i'm not proud of...and one problem that i've got about myself is that once i make a decision, no matter how bad i want to goback and change it...i still dont regret. now, i regret the people that i've hurt along the way however, and one of those inparticular, was the love of my life...yea'...i'll never have another relationship like that, we understood eachother SO well! it was amazing,to put it simply i'm a fucking bitch...and he loved that about me! i am 100% pure evil, and he loved it. i would kill to have that back! but i fucked it up. see...i promised him my life, and when he went to jail i gave that life to someone else. a lot of shit happens when the one you love is in jail, a shit load of a lot...damn...never really sat down to talk about this. that man has my heart! we used to be n the phone for hours, and not say anything.its like nothing even needed to be said, it was like we already knew everything..but when he went away, i had nothing...and i have this problem...i love attention...i'm what you would call a whore...and i admit it...well, i acidentally fell in love with someone else, which i had no intention on doing...i promised myself it wouldnt get that far...that i would just be the stupid wore that i am and then when dj got out of jail i would be with him and only him for the rest of my life, but during my whoring...i fell in love, and hell yea' i still love my ex but...i cant help what happened and like i said before, i would seriously love to go back and change the past but i cant...and right now...i dont want to...well i do but i dont. and now my ex hates me...and while i try to keep him in my life...hes trying to kick me out of his...so this is my final plea...phoney i'm sorry for what i did to you, and i wish you could understand that it seriously kills me to say that your not my man...i cant stop crying, i miss what we had, i am so very sorry...i...i just cant...icant go back and you know that. if me and timmy ever break up trust me your the only one on my mind...but baby, i'm not making anymore promises, because i seriously dont know if me and timmy will ever break up. as hard as that is to say i'm sure its harder for you to hear...so this is it...i'm sorry dustin, but i love you