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Page name: FreakingHillariousJokes2 [Exported view] [RSS]
2008-09-20 01:13:09
Last author: wolvie
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Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change


Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one


Q: What do you get when you cross a highway with a bicycle?
A: Run over!


Q: What succeeds most of the time?
A: A Toothless Bird! (sucks-seeds)


Q: How does Bob Marley like his donut?
A: With jamin'


Q: How did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chickens foot.


Q. What does it mean when a drummer drools out both sides of his mouth?
A. The stage is even.


Q. How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A. Give him some sheet music.


Q.How many Bass players does it take to fix a light?
A.One, but the guitarist has to show him first.


Q.What do you call a group of drummers standing in a circle?
A. A Dope Ring.


Q. A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he still has the longest beard in town, how is that possible?
A. He's a Barber.


Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.


Q. What do you get when crossing a steam shovel and a hot tamale?
A. Hot Diggiti!


Q. How do you keep someone in suspense?
A. Oh, I'll tell you tomorrow!


Q. Why did the kids all eat their homework?
A. Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!


Q. Whats the difference between a Brussels sprout and a booger?
A. You can't get the kids to eat the Brussels sprout.


Q. What kind of cheese isn't yours?
A. Nacho Cheese


Q. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A. "Damn!"


Q. Why did a kid throw a clock out the window?
A. To see time fly.


Q. What did the picture say to the other picture?
A. I heard you got framed.


Q. How do you kill a circus?
A. Go for the juggler.


Q. Did you hear the joke about the butter?
A. Don't worry you will only spread it.


Q. Did you hear the joke about the very high wall?
A. I better not you will never be able to get over it.


Q. "Waiter, why is your thumb on my steak?"
A. "Well,didn't want to drop it again."


Q.What does an envelope say when you lick it?
A. Nothing. It just shuts up.


Q. Why did the Hedgehog cross the road?
A. To see his flat-mate.


"Ai" said the wee man peeing in the wind "It's all coming back to me"


Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.


Q. Why did the boy throw his toast out the window?
A. He wanted to see the butter fly


Q. What did one eye say to the other?
A. "Between you and me, something smells!" (your nose)


Q. What goes in long and hard, and comes out wet and sticky?
A. A stick of gum. (And what were you thinking!?)


Q. What does a pelican and a taxman have in common?
A. They can both shove their bill up their bum.


Q:How do you make a bandstand?
A:Take their chairs away.


Q. how many drunks dose it takes to screw in a light bulb...?
A. 11. one to hold the light bulb and ten to drink enough to make the room spin.


Q:What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with?
A: Croc-cocaine


Q: What goes white, black, white, black, white, black, thud?
A: a nun falling down the stairs.


Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick. 


Q: How do you get Dr. Phil in a bikini?
A: Take the "I" out of Bikini and the "F" out of way.
Problem: There's no "F" in way.


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