Submitted by [On Any Given Night]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Joke from [I stabbith ye]

Three men were captured in war and were about to be shot. One was extremly intellegent, the other clever, and the other unfortunately, didn't have much going on upstairs.

The Cleverest man was lead out first and just before he was shot shouted out "VOLCANO!" The people who were about to shoot turned round and the man escaped.

The second man saw what the first did and decided to do the same, he shouted out "TIDLE WAVE!" and also escaped.

The third man saw what the other two had done and decided that he would be clever and do the same thing. He was led up and put infront of the men about to shoot him, then as they raised their guns he shouted "FIRE!"

Joke submitted by: [Steph-O-Melon]

One day a rabbit and a bear were taking a crap out in the woods. The bear looked at the rabbit and asked "Do you ever have problems with crap sticking in your fur?" The rabbit shook its head "No", so the bear wiped his butt with the rabbit.

Joke told by [asdfghjkl;]

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. Soon, he became dissatisfied
with the level of comfort in Hell, and began designing and building
improvements.

After a while, they had flush toilets, air conditioning, escalators.
The engineer was a pretty popular guy.

One day God called to Satan and said with a sneer, "So, how's it going
down there in Hell?"

Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and
flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer
is going to come up with next.

"God exclaimed, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake--he
should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up
here."

"No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer on the staff, and
I'm keeping him."

God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"

Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"