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Would you want to be an immortal?

* Of course!
* Only old age - I'd like to have the choice to die otherwise.
* No, never.

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everlasting inebriation
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Amalaswinta sammie h! Simpet Sigyn, The Faithful Wife Cerulean Sins

Elfpack - The cool, sexy and goofy community!

Welcome to Elfpack. This is a totally normal Internet community. We promise! We're really normal! Everyone of us! We're not a tiny little bit strange. Move along! Nothing to see here!

Well, OK. You might want to have a look at the unlimited photo albums, your own chat-page which might be used by non-members too, people from all over the world and the friendly people here.

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More news

Some network problem

They were rebuilding the network, so that's why Elfpack was down for some 10 hours.

Date: 2016-11-15 13:11:13
News #: 132
Reporter: Hedda

Registration easier

As emailing only works sometimes (for unknown reasons), we have removed the requirement to confirm the email address when you register.

I hope this will make it easier to register.

Date: 2016-02-12 15:22:06
News #: 131
Reporter: Hedda

Happy Holidays, Elfpackers!


<img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png>
<img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png>

Happy Holidays!

A very merry Christmas from the Elfpack Council!
We hope you get everything you want under the tree, and we hope that 2015 treats you awesomely :D

<img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png>
<img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/GreenButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png> <img:stuff/RedButtonByArtsieladie2013-11-04_11x11.png>

For more Christmassy graphics to use on EP, click the button -> Christmas_Graphics-By-Artsieladie

Date: 2014-12-24 23:10:56
News #: 130
Reporter: kittykittykitty

Elfpack Chat

Elfpack Chat Help and Questions   Press <Show Content> to see information.

Show content
Q) What is an "OP"?
A) An OP is a chat operator; it means they are a Moderator in the chat.

Q) I sometimes see people who are not listed as one of the Chat Bosses with OP-status, why is that?
A) Sometimes, a Chat Boss may decide to give another highly-trusted member a temporary OP status that lasts until they log out. This is generally due to the assigned chat bosses not being there to moderate things.

Q) I'd like to be a Chat Boss, how do I become one?
A) Well, before even asking this question you should make sure you're active and talkative in the chat. The current Chat Bosses will contact members they feel would make good new bosses, should their be a need for them.

Q) I don't know how to use this chat, I'm completely confused.
A) You just type your username into the chat-box widget located above. For a list of commands you can use in the chat, keep reading on.

Q) I have a question not on this list!
A) You can always ask in the "to the crew" forum. ;)

General Information and Useful Commands

Show content
Command                              What it does
/me <action>                         Performs an actions. IE: Stephen dances.
/nick <newnickname>                  Changes your nickname into the entered nickname.
/ignore <nickname>                   Ignores all messages from that nickname.
/unignore <nickname>                 Removed an ignore from a nickname.
/query <nickname>                    Sends a private message to that nickname.
/whois <nickname>                    Looks up information about nickname.
/join <#channel name>                Opens another channel in a different tab. (IE: /join #Elftown)
/clear                               Clears the chat box.
/away <message>                      Displays an away message when someone uses the "/whois" command on you.

Don't be an asshole!
Don't flood the channel with spam, don't harass people, don't try to get everyone to have sex with you, etc. Doing so will get you kicked/banned.

Try to write correctly
You don't need to use perfect English, but no one feels like trying to decode your typing. Some typo's and grammar messups are OK, but at least try to type normal text.

Listen to and respect the mods!
What they say is final. In the chat, the mods are just like the Elfpack Guards.

If someone is being an asshole

If there's no mod on and someone is being an asshole, do the following:

1) Type "/whois <harasser's nick>"
2) Find the "hostmark" of the harasser. (It should look like "24-180-208-36", just with different numbers)
3) Screenshot what the harasser is doing and the harasser's hostmark. Send them to [Stephen] in a PM.
4) Type /ignore <harasser's nickname>

Date: 2014-03-10 18:30:52
News #: 129
Reporter: Stephen
More Elfpack news

Elfpack Awards

Hello everyone, please don't forget about the Elfpack awards come and put your suggestions in on who to vote for, we will be waiting.

Date: 2019-08-02 16:17:42
News #: 161
Reporter: sammie h!

Boom today...

The server suddenly without any reason turned off today. Then the message database got corrupted. Then when the message database was getting fixed the server kept on crashing because I started too many database recoveries at the same time.

Now it's back though, and I hope not more than some message has been lost.

Date: 2017-04-07 00:20:50
News #: 160
Reporter: Hedda

Join Elfpack's Crew!

Hey there!

The Council is looking to expand its ranks with active and creative people. You don't even need prior experience to be considered!

Here's what to do if you're interested;

Send a single message to [Stephen], with the following information:

• Your age
• Why you want on the Crew
• What you want to do on the Crew
• Why you think you'd do well on the Crew
• How active you are on Elfpack
        We are not looking for more Guards currently!

If you decide to change or update your message, please delete the old version and send a new version in its place.

Good luck to those who decide they want to try out to join the Crew and we hope to see many hopeful applications.

Date: 2014-02-15 01:56:41
News #: 159
Reporter: Stephen

Elfpack is back! :D

Elfpack is finally back. It has been moved to a new server (together with Elftown) which took way more time than it should have taken due to me being away and crap happening.

I hope it will be up now though. Still some things to fix, but it should be usable now.

If you want to stay updated about Elfpack when it's down, join https://www.facebook.com/groups/ElfpackTeam

There might also be related info on https://www.facebook.com/pages/Elftowncom/17815116017

Date: 2013-09-18 17:25:16
News #: 158
Reporter: Hedda
More jokes

New Joke, OMG!

This year's monthly joke is brought to us by [Stephen], a relatively unknown Elfpacker who sometimes has surgery and stuff. It's like his hobby. Let's hope he gets better soon! So, let's stop laughing AT him and laugh WITH him at this awesome joke he submitted:

Two long time friends decide to go for a round of golf at a nearby course. They meet in the parking lot at the front of the golf course and start to unload the trucks of their cars when one tells another “Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!” the other replies, “GREAT trade!”

Huh. Well, it wasn't really all that awesome, but he tried, I guess. Anyway, you can go back to laughing at him now. Mort out!


Eat at Elfpack Jokes!

About Elfpack Jokes
Date: 2014-01-09 05:23:29 Joke #: 79 Mod: Mortified Penguin

Beer jokes on tap - Elfpack Jokes

1) A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender to line up 10 beers. One by one he slams them down. The bartender tells him to slow up, but the man replies that he drinks like that because of what he's got. The bartender asks him, "I'm sorry. What do you have?" To which the guzzler replied, "Only 50 cents."

2) If your beer is tasteless and the front of your shirt is wet, you are obviously so drunk you've forgotten to open your damn mouth.

3) What do idiots and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.

4) The drunk was driving carefully so he was surprised when a cop pulled him over. He asked the policeman, "Was I driving dangerously?" "Nope," replied the cop. "It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."

5) You know you've drunk too much beer when: Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

6) After several beers a man stumbles out of a bar and staggers down the road, one foot in the gutter and the other on the curb. A police man stops him and says, "Hey! You're drunk!" "Thank God!" replied the man. "I thought I was crippled!"


This round of beer-related funnies was brought to you by [hinata hyuuga (kimiko)]. Hopfully you liked them and can barley contain your laughter. Of Coors, you can submit your own to Elfpack Jokes if you think you can do bitter!

About Elfpack Jokes
Date: 2013-07-22 07:16:16 Joke #: 78 Mod: kittykittykitty

Many jokes, handle it - Elfpack Jokes

It was a very sad day when I took my cat to the vet. The vet looked at me and said, "I'm afraid your cat won't last long. It's the Big C."
"What? Cancer?" I replied.
"No," he answered. "Curiosity."

Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A: A Dictator!

Two molecules were sitting on a bench,
One said to the other,
"OH NOOOO I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?", replied the other one,

Q. How much does a polar bear weigh?
A. Enough to break the ice. So how you doin? ;)


Thanks [Deg] for the first joke, [Midori] for the second, [meismisty] for the third, and [Kaos101] for the questionable chat-up line.

Want to share your favourite jokes on mainstuff? Submit them to Elfpack Jokes!

About Elfpack Jokes
Date: 2013-05-05 18:42:11 Joke #: 77 Mod: kittykittykitty

Eagles - Elfpack Jokes

Did you know that Eagles mate for life?

Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Marlene, his partner for 10 years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. Poor Marlene had been shot dead...

Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate. Since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier. So he flew off to find a new mate.

He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest. The sex was good but all the dove would say is "I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!"
It wasn't long before this got on Harry's nerves, so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate.

He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again the sex was good but despite his best efforts all the loon would say is "I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!"
So out with the loon. Once more he flew off to find a mate.

This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest.
This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was
"I am a DRAKE,
You made a MISTAKE....."


It's an easy mistake to make! Seems like Harry was in for a surprise. Thanks [matty coppick] for submitting this joke.

About Elfpack Jokes
Date: 2013-02-08 14:16:39 Joke #: 76 Mod: kittykittykitty
More poems

Black & White

What is it about being a teenage that makes everything black and white?
Can I trust him?
Does history really repeat itself?
Are we bound to go on the same path as his past relationships?
If it does not work will i lose my best friend?
If it does work i will have my bestfriend as my boyfriend: is that a good thing?
Will he get bored with me?
He already know me like a book,but this is about me knowing him
Is this a good or bad thing
Will he be true to me?
He is know to be a cheater at school, but i believe this to be false.
Will he try to change me?
I am not the type of girl that he has dated before
Is the saying opposites attract true?
If so were it lead to fights?
He does believe in a higher power, i do not
Will my father approve of him?
His mother approves of me, because i tutored him.
My heart say yes, but my mind says no

Written by: [SunBlaze]

Do you have a poem you'd like to submit? Visit Elfpack Featured Poem!

More about Elfpack Daily Poem
Date: 2014-02-08 02:51:18 Poem #: 86 Mod: sammie h!

I Can't Wait to Tie the Knot

I made a new friend today,
With which I'll waste my life away.
I roped him in with charm and wit,
I gave him a chair, but he won't sit.
Doesn't say much, but he's quite well rounded,
Though he's a bit high and not all that grounded.
I'll go out on a limb and say we'll hang,
I'll be so happy, no more pain.
I'm choking up, it'll be so fun,
Hanging out in the summer sun.
I'll finally be happy and full of bliss,
Even the chair will get a kick out of this.

Written by [Morgoth]

Do you have a poem you'd like to submit? Visit Elfpack Featured Poem!

More about Elfpack Daily Poem
Date: 2013-05-22 22:23:49 Poem #: 85 Mod: sammie h!

Bright New Dawn

At last, I have my one true happiness,
The love that I have sought for all these years,
Yet still I feel the pull from the abyss -
My former self, the one my present fears.
About his neck, a cloak of sin he flaunts,
A garment I myself made, thoughtlessly,
With memories of past mistakes, he taunts -
I could not save them, they could not save me;
Those withered ties of friendship, now decayed,
Whose passing I do sometimes pause to mourn.
But now my past must finally be laid
To rest, so I may seize the bright new dawn,
For I can see no brighter future than
Eternity with my sweet Mia-chan.

Written by [Member#327]

Do you have a poem you'd like to submit? Visit Elfpack Featured Poem!

More about Elfpack Daily Poem
Date: 2013-05-07 21:13:25 Poem #: 84 Mod: sammie h!


My love for you extends futher than the ocean is deep,
Without you I would endlessly weep,
You are the one I shall always keep,
For I even dream of you in my sleep,
My feelings for you were such a sudden sweep,
but I know there are honest not cheap,
I love you so much I wish to scream and leap.

Submitted by: [Stephen]

Do you have a poem you'd like to submit? Visit Elfpack Featured Poem!

More about Elfpack Daily Poem
Date: 2013-04-29 11:49:42 Poem #: 83 Mod: sammie h!
More goofs

Goofy Elfpackers Elfpacking! - An Update on Updates


Major GEE! Overhaul Still to Come!

Long time with no new news, Elfpackers! For this I have no excuses. I am, however, still alive and so (hopefully) shall GEE! be in just a few more short days.

If you'd like to know more, please click "show content".

Show content
Has GEE been missed? It's hard to say. As many of you know, Elfpack has been struggling to reinvent itself and get some new life pumped back into it. For now, it's still the same old lovable EP--and we're still working hard to get it to a better and brighter place, one little piece at a time.

Have opinions and/or comments on the matter? Please feel free to message me, the council, or follow us on Facebook!


Back to GEE!

This much has not changed: After much consideration, I, [Deg], The Grand Goof, have decided to redirect and reconstruct Goofy Elfpackers Elfpacking!. GEE!'s sister wiki, Cool Shades, will also be reopened and officially affiliated.

What to be looking forward to:

A sleek, more updated look
More categories
New, exciting, relevant prizes

As for a timetable, I'm hoping for ASAP. Although, I'll admit, I'll be working alone and I am, sadly, a procrastinator. However, I always log into EP several times a day so if you have any personal concerns or just need to be reassured that I'm still around, feel free to drop me a PM at any time with questions or concerns.

Until the grand reopening, GEE! will remain closed.

Until then, Elfpack, keep on being Goofy!

-Much respect, [Deg].

About the goofs
About the Cool Shades
Date: 2013-10-19 02:34:30 Goof #: 130 Mod: Deg

Goofy Elfpackers Elfpacking! - GEE! Updates


Major GEE! Overhaul Coming Soon!

Hey there Elfpackers! After much consideration, I, [Deg], The Grand Goof, have decided to redirect and reconstruct Goofy Elfpackers Elfpacking!. GEE!'s sister wiki, Cool Shades, will also be reopened and officially affiliated.

Until the grand reopening, GEE! will be closed.

ETC is 6/15/13, or about a month.

If you have any suggestions on how to improve GEE!, Cool Shades, or simply have an opinion about the matter in general, please PM me directly.

Until then, Elfpack, keep on being Goofy!

-Much respect, [Deg].

About the goofs
About the Cool Shades
Date: 2013-05-16 16:25:09 Goof #: 129 Mod: Deg

Goofy Elfpackers Elfpacking!-[~altopia~]&[Peachirach]


This week we have a double-double feature. Give it up for this lovely pair, [~altopia~] and [Peachirach]!

Wanna see your picture on Mainstuff?

Do you wanna earn some awesome prizes and
have your name forever listed in GEE! - The Goofy Hall of Fame?

Or simply message [Deg] for more info!

About the goofs
About the Cool Shades
Date: 2013-04-24 00:14:18 Goof #: 128 Mod: Deg

Goofy Elfpackers Elfpacking! - [Alexandra the Great]


This week we have a grandiose double feature. Give a round of applause for [Alexandra the Great]!

Wanna see your picture on Mainstuff?

Do you wanna earn some awesome prizes and
have your name forever listed in GEE! - The Goofy Hall of Fame?

Or simply message [Deg] for more info!

About the goofs
About the Cool Shades
Date: 2013-04-09 01:06:07 Goof #: 127 Mod: Deg
Number of Elfpack members: 56793
Number of active members: 13
Statistics about online members
Temperature in Linköping: ? Celsius

News about Elfpack
Help - How does Elfpack work?

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